Inday Jokes Collection #1

AMO: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?

INDAY: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discounting rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS 18 on Revenue, PAS 16 on PPE and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.

AMO: Hinimatay!


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" I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress."

- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!

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" Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ."

- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.

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"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize."

- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

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Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

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"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"

- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.

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Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: (nosebleed)

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" Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!"

- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.

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"Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so."

- sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

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"To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."

- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.


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Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda...Ay o nga pala, inglesera ka na *****, would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, i believe you meant a variety of fish. The term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before i go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? fillet or not? frozen or fresh?

wagi si Inday!!

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"Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce.Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil .Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream cheese topped with lemon zests."


---mga baon ni junjun sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday.

SOSYAL!!!

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Dear Mom,

Had i not been able to smell the salt, i must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of hil shabilly runned academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never though being a governess can be such strenuous employ!

Your daughter,
Inday


Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital ang nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong pagkabasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

--TATAY

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